May 6, 2021

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Judge orders DOJ to release memo about not charging Trump with obstruction

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“The Jimmy Carter Library just released this photo of the Bidens visiting the Carters last week,” and “it looks like a second-grader made a presidential diorama,” Jimmy Fallon said on Tuesday’s Tonight Show, filmed before an audience of teachers for Teacher Appreciation Day. “I learned two things from the photo: the the two families are very close, and Biden is the size of Jason Momoa.” He shared a second photo of Biden and Carter, this one inspired by The Lion King.

Fallon also touched on the Bill and Melinda Gates divorce news: “You know Melinda Gates is thinking, ‘Finally, I can use a MacBook!’ I think they both deserve their privacy, but if ABC wants to make Bill the next Bachelor, I’m all in.”

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Bill and Melinda Gates “have a combined estimated worth of at least $134 billion,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. “When you’re that rich, why do you even need to get divorced? Can’t they just live in separate wings?” He poked fun at “Old Bazooka Joe” Biden for mangling the URL of vaccines.gov, calling it dot-gum, and he celebrated May the 4th by trotting out a Star Wars Day-Cinco de Mayo mashup character named “Chewbaccamole” and a lost character from Empire Strikes Back.

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The Tonight Show‘s Tariq Trotter rapped to the Star Wars theme.

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The Daily Show‘s Trevor Noah was fascinated by that Bidens-Carters snapshot. It’s nice to see them “together and smiling and everything, it’s just what the f–k is going on in this photo?” he asked. “Why do the Bidens look five times bigger than the Carters? Is there some dollhouse filter that I didn’t know about? Because I’ve been staring at this thing the whole day and I still can’t figure out what’s going on.” Seriously, he added, “this is the weirdest picture of a president since — well, any picture of Donald Trump. But I’m not hating, please don’t get me wrong. I think it is great to see presidents of different generations coming together to make me think that I’m on shrooms.”

Expanding vaccinations to people 12 to 15 “is gonna be a huge step forward for kids who are sick of Zoom class,” Noah said, “and want to get back to being sick of actual class.”

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Late Night‘s Seth Meyers offered some other things he’d like to keep from pandemic life — though Zoom school was not among them. Peter Weber

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